THE RULES ARE: "THERE ARE NO RULES".
Updated: Apr 15, 2021
My search for some kind of rule book to guide me through this blogging thing has failed woefully so i'm back to free ball it, as I do.
Ive always loved maths and physics as subjects, something about them gives you absolute control over the problem before you. No matter how complicated things get, there will always be a hard rule(s) somewhere to bring you that much closer to resolution. How nice, to know that if you think hard enough you will remember that someone else has already done it for you. Love it.
I spend a lot of my time looking for patterns in everything, patterns in my behavior, in the your behavior, patterns in life, patterns in relationships. I try to crack the code and find the formula that solves everything. This ultimate rule will allow me to predict and understand my actions, your reactions, my emotions and your thoughts. It will tell me the exact meaning of every single conflict, disappointment or rejection that life throws, which steps to take and in what direction.
If I'm making sense then you probably already know where i'm going with this... there is no such thing. Though I must say that in retrospect I have found some form structure in my character, Its barely enough to understand, let alone predict the course of my life.
Someone recently asked me why I never make eye contact when I speak to them. Truth is, I feel like you can probably see me doing back flips in my head trying figure out what is going on if you look deep enough in my eyes. lol, I know its weird but it's the truth.
It's the thinking you know, then knowing you don't know and then the not knowing what you know and/or what you don't know. Thats the part that gets me, it gets me all anxious and anxious about being anxious and getting found out. It's a slippery slope.
With that being said, I am not one to back down from a challenge. However, I am one to let it consume me and run around in circles until I am out of breath. I look up and find that life has happened regardless my approval or understanding.
So heres me making a pact with my inner gymnast to hold still for hypothetical second and see what happens.